Healing the Maiden Wound
Happy Spring Equinox! In the Northern Hemisphere, we have just crossed the threshold into a new season on the Wheel of the Year - not just any season, my favorite one!
As an Aries, I just love how the first day of Spring aligns with the start of Aries season, a new astrological year, beckoning us all to break free of our seed’s shell, sprout, take root, and tenderly shoot up out of the cold, dark soil!
It’s no surprise the Spring season is ruled by The Maiden archetype - you may know her as the goddess Persephone, the Anglo-Saxon goddess Ostara, or the inner child/inner adolescent parts. She is at once whole unto herself, free from control, and at the same time intensely vulnerable, tender, and brand new. She is what patriarchy fears most of all - the free maiden, playful, curious, still unencumbered by socialization and conditioning.
Remember - the Spring Season encompasses the pre-menstrual season of the menstrual cycle, the solar or Earth Spring season, and the first quarter moon lunar season. While we can work with Spring medicine and the Maiden archetype wheel-round, it is most potent during these times.
I created The Inner Maiden Journey to guide you home to this Archetype! Carve out at least half an hour, create your Maiden altar, and get ready to heal your Maiden wounds.
On this journey, you will meet your Inner Child, the parts of you harmed by Patriarchy that need healing, as well as the Internalized Victim. You will partner with and learn from the Maiden Archetype to both cherish and rescue yourself. Remember, time is spiralic. You have the power to travel back in time and forward into the future to heal moments of past pain and future anxiety just by being present and intentional in these visualizations. If you need support, or want a Witness as you do this work, go ahead and book a session with me!
In our inner work, The Maiden archetype can be called in to help heal the Inner Child. Your inner child or inner children are the parts of yourself that represent your early experiences. Did you experience harm or trauma as a child? Were you raised with a secure attachment style? Even if you feel you had a charmed childhood, when did you feel lonely, misunderstood, or unworthy? This all can be integrated through regular visits with your inner child.
In client work, what our inner children are doing is a great signpost to what the client has buried deep or denied, often for years. More times than not, inner children are hidden away somewhere, out of sight. They’re scared, lonely, and they don’t understand why they’ve been kept in shadows and neglected for so long. What often comes through is that they need us to get on their level (just like “real” children), look into their eyes with compassion, and just listen to them. After a bit of coaxing, holding, and nurturing, our inner children can be a healthy reminder of the unending need for play, curiosity, and exploration in our present lives!
I say “inner children” because there can be many versions of our past selves that it is helpful to work with and heal. Just as there are many iterations of our Future Self, Crone Self, Elder Self, Deathbed Self. For instance, I work with an adolescent version of myself who was quite self-conscious and deeply internalized her lack of romantic attention. Allow the ones who need to step forward to make themselves known to you, and work with them as they change in age, appearance, and need.
Make it a regular habit to check-in with your inner child during meditation, and specifically use the Spring Season to write letters to and from your inner child to better understand these unmet needs in yourself.
You can ask your inner child:
What do you need?
What do you want?
What’s in the way - how do you feel unsafe?
What do you need from me?
How can I help cherish, nurture, and nourish you?
What areas of my life do you feel I need to incorporate more play, fun, curiosity, and exploration?
What would light you up today?
You can express compassion to your inner child through a hug, rocking them, putting them to bed, feeding them, letting them sit in your lap - however you wanted to be nurtured by a trusted adult when you were small!
The Maiden also represents the part of ourselves particularly wounded and taken advantage of by the Patriarchy. Just as Persephone’s journey teaches us, sometimes toxic masculinity victimizes the pure feminine within us. In her case, she was just out picking flowers and she got dragged to the Underworld by Hades. But as in her story, Maiden can show us how to alchemize our wounds into medicine. Persephone became Queen of the Underworld with the ability to help others on their shadow journey, and took on the role of Wounded Healer.
Reflect on times in your life when you were particularly wounded by the patriarchy. It could be the subtle violence of the male gaze, the internalized comments from mean girls, gender-based violence, or sexual harassment. If you feel safe working with these memories, you can call Maiden in to stand by your side and rewrite the stories.
Answer the following questions:
What did you most need in those moments?
Knowing what you know now, what do you wish you had done differently?
What would you have wanted most to happen?
If you could call in a brave Maiden warrior goddess to come save you, what would she look life, feel like, and do?
If you could imagine yourself becoming the Maiden in that moment, taking that action. What does it feel like?
Allow the many faces, needs, desires of the Maiden to make themselves known to you. Work with her in discovering how you can heal each other. In this Self-Love Sermon, we talk specifically about Cherishing the Inner Maiden.
Here are some ways you can begin to cherish this part of yourself today:
Grab an even cozier blanket or pair of socks
Put on truly healing music, or a playlist you loved as an adolescent
Get a special beverage or snack for yourself - perhaps something you fancied as a child
Light a yummy candle and delight in your space
Commit to your next luxury - a splurge, an orgasm, a creative project, a trashy romance novel
Stroke your own face as you embrace yourself in a hug
Soft mirror gaze into your own eyes
Reclaim adornment just for you - get your hair, nails, makeup done with intention
Romance yourself with love letters, flowers, and decadent meals
When you’re ready - whether it’s the Spring season, a first quarter moon, you’re pre-ovulatory or not - take the Inner Maiden Journey here! Let us know how it goes in the comments below.
I hope wherever you are, you cherish yourself today. You are worthy of fun, play, and self-nourishment.
