Happy Samhain, Halloween, and All Saints Day, Beloveds!

In many cultural traditions, it is believed that the veils are at their thinnest this time of year, so beings from the other realms can come through most easily. This includes our ancestors who have passed on, who are especially inclined to visit when we build them an altar with their image, symbols that remind us of them, or the things they enjoyed in life!

I recently finished reading Honoring Your Ancestors: A Guide to Ancestral Veneration by Mallorie Vaudoise, and I highly recommend it. It is chock-full of folk wisdom, spell recipes, and instructions for creating your altar. Reading it inspired me to create a bigger ancestral altar than ever this year (plus, we have a built-in fireplace mantel in the 1901 house we are renting that works perfectly). I love meditating at my altar, leaving small offerings, and doing rituals there. More than anything, I love how acknowledging the dead in our dining room - the central place of family life - feels like righting the wrong our culture commits by covering up death most often. Death is not to be feared! It is a necessary part of life. It feels good and connected to honor those who have come before us, and to hope we too will be remembered when we pass on.

Use the guide below to build your ancestral altar, then come back and let me know how it goes!

How to use your ancestral altar

• To remember your ancestors - those you knew in life, those you never met, and those faceless millions who are unknowable. Feel their DNA in you, remember their sacrifices, and how their resilience and animating life force were passed into you. What will you do with these immense gifts?

• To practice embodiment and process ancestral healing from internalized racism, misogyny, and all forms of “bad other-ing”. This could look like meditating in front of your altar, choosing specific shadows to heal, and setting an intention before you begin. Perhaps you want to combine embodiment with spell work, saying aloud as you rub your body with oil: “May my hands touch the shame and suffering within your spirit as I touch my own. May we heal together through the transformative power of self-compassion and acceptance. May I forgive what I’ve inherited, making every effort to restore a balance with what time I have remaining.”

• To pray to your ancestors, invoking their blessings, support, and guidance for life transitions. Use divination tools such as tarot, fire scrying, and free writing to help you interpret their messages.

• To practice rituals - make up your own, follow your spiritual or ancestral lineage, or turn to good ol’ Grandmother Google to do some research! My favorite ones are the most simple: lighting a candle, leaving a bit of my meal or cup of tea, contemplating their life and what unlived lives still lay before them when they died. Remembering how fortunate I am that they paved the way for me to be here, right now, and imagining how proud and supportive they are of me to live the life that - in many ways - was unavailable to them.

• To build on as you go, conducting your own ancestral genealogy research using resources like FamilySearch, 23 and Me, or Ancestry.com. Be forewarned: it can be quite addictive!

7 steps to build your ancestral altar

1. Include the 4 elements on your altar: Cups or bowls of water, stones or bones for earth, feather for air, and candles for fire. When casting circles or creating altars, it’s a good practice to invoke the elements and the directions, paying homage to these building blocks of all life here on our planet.

2. Likewise, remember the non-human ancestors: Include symbols of mushrooms, animals, and plants you are cultivating relationships with. It helps me feel more connected to the entire planet when I remember to trace my lineage way back to truly include all of my relations.

3. Make an offering: Leave offerings of food or drink for ancestors you remember in life, or learn to cook ancestral foods and leave a bit at the altar as you enjoy your meal. You can also sing a song, recite a poem, make something tangible, or leave any items they enjoyed in life or might require in the afterlife.

4. Only include photos of ancestors if it feels appropriate and safe for you to work with those ancestors - you can also create drawings, poems, or other representations of them. I’ve heard those ancestors who have fully integrated their lessons in life referred to as the “bright and well ones” and I often invoke them specifically. Perhaps you know who is coming through to work with you, perhaps not! Follow you intuition, and only include photos and symbols from ancestors from whom you can feel safe, loving energy. As for those who you feel still need to integrate lessons from their time on earth, here are some ways to work with them: saying a spell, wishing their spirit metta (loving kindness), and practicing embodied healing in your own life.

5. Don’t be afraid to look outside your blood lineage for your altar - What trailblazers in your industry, spirituality, or other area of interest made a big impact on you? Which people who have passed on made this world a bit safer and lovelier for you? Perhaps you wish to place photos of LGBTQI+ activists, suffragettes, or some others who have gone before on your altar. What about incorporating the people whose land you live on, as well as the land spirits of this place?

6. Make it seasonal or year-round! In our home, during the month of October, we build our family ancestral altar and leave it up a bit past November 1st. Rather than leave photos out year-round, I replace them in an album with their names and my family tree notes to flip through the other months of the year. This makes way for me to practice more altar magic in the coming Yule season. Others prefer to leave a small ancestral altar at all times to make regular offerings, prayers, and rituals. Perhaps if I had someone very close to me pass on, I would adopt this practice as well. It’s a lovely way to keep them close in your life!

7. Incorporate your altar into daily or weekly ritual. Aesthetic beauty is nice, but remember that ancestral connection is what matters most! It could be simply lighting a candle, burning some incense or herbs, talking aloud to them about what problems you’re experiencing in your life, or practicing divination for their guidance (e.g. Tarot, runes, pendulum).

I would love to know how your altar goes! Share in the comments below: What are you most excited to try with your ancestral altar?

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Big Love!